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Pregnancy hormones out of whack? Okay, so even I think maybe I'm just overreacting, but maybe I'm not..I dunno. Hormones screwing me up so bad, I'm not sure anymore. Here goes (gonna be a long one, sorry):
I am okay with men/boys watching porn, but outside of a relationship. Once they're in one, to me, it's like saying the girl you're with isn't good enough to satisfy you. My husband knows how I feel about this, I told him when we were just dating I was sorta odd (I guess?) about this kind of stuff. And he assured me he'd actually never watched 'porn' but just hentai stuff. And he's an Asian that likes a lot of manga/anime, so I'd actually find it rather odd if he didn't.
Anyway. I was bored last night, and couldn't get to sleep. I had already turned off my laptop, and he always leaves his on, so I thought I'd just get on his for a few minutes, until I could sleep. We both frequent sites like FML, Lamebook, etc, so I thought I'd check his bookmarks to see if he'd found anything new. It's not like I was looking for something bad or anything, I just happened to find it. He had a porn video bookmarked, titled "Busty Teen Dorm Room" or something along those lines. I got upset, and woke him up. At first he just kept saying that his older brother (he's used his laptop like twice in the past week) bookmarked it. I found that kinda hard to believe, and I told him just to fess up. After awhile, he did. But then he started saying, "But I only looked because you know how much I wish we'd gone to school together." (we didn't meet until after I was 18, and already graduated) but, again, that's kinda hard to believe. He also said he didn't actually mean to bookmark it, he had been trying to bookmark something on another tab (this one I can kinda believe).
Now, I just feel like..I'm not good enough. We don't have sex as much anymore, not since I was like 3 months pregnant. It always hurt me when we had sex, even before pregnancy, but it wasn't too much, and I actually liked it. But since about 3 months, it's sometimes just too much. We only have sex like..once a week now, or every 2 weeks. And I feel like maybe I'm just letting him down now.. Maybe he's comparing me to the girl in the video, now that I have such a huge belly? He always says he loves me belly, and he kisses it and talks to our little girl, but..I don't know..
Am I overreacting for feeling hurt and inadequate? | I don't think you're over reacting at all. I think that since he was aware of your stance on porn pre pregnancy, it's an established position that you've been very clear on. He's violated your trust by 1- doing what he told you he wouldn't do anyway, 2- lying and trying to pin it on someone else and 3- chalking up that particular video to the fact that you two didn't meet years prior.
This is a trust issue that's going to evolve into something much bigger than "do you not find me attractive anymore?" There are ways to satisfy his fantasy to his satisfaction without doing things behind your back and including you. What those ways are, you'd have to be open to discussing with him and open to doing.
There's nothing wrong with you, and you're not over reacting. You just need to communicate about both of your sexual desires and wants. | Transgender FTM as a teen...? How do you cope with being transgender (wanting to be the opposite sex) in school as a teenager? What can you do to make it easier, and to be passable as the opposite gender, but not freak everyone out of their minds? If you went through this, how did you cope? Did you come out and open about it? How did you do it? I'm specifically speaking about FTM or a girl wanting to be a guy. Also, if you wanted to be called by a different name, how did you work that out?
especially busty FTM. Thanks | I'm a tranny boy also. You're in luck because basically for women in this society, there is no such thing as crossdressing. Women can be tomboys, or wear guys clothes an it's socially acceptable. So you can wear guys clothes and be almost totally unharrassed. Expect people to mistake you for a guy, and expect people to assume you are a lesbian. When I first bound my breasts, I thought I would feel nervous in public, people seeing me as a girl with no breasts, but I didn't, I felt better about myself and more confident.
I had short hair to begin with, because I was emulating guys I admired, I wanted to be buff, and look like a video game hero, even when I was real young. It didn't really register to me that my ideal body was male, or what that meant, until I was 17, then I was like "hey, I should get me one of those sex changes" it was just very natural, "hey, that makes sense" I started by gradually replacing my wardrobe with guys clothes. Then I started binding ftm-underworks.com, has some real nice binders. if you don't want anyone to know you're binding, I suggest getting the frog bra from titlenine, it's a masher on boobs, an the person buying it for you will think nothing of it as it's meant to be an athletic sports bra. As for the guy name, first you gotta pick one LOL. Some guys use the name their parents would have named them if they knew they were a guy, I did that. Other guys just pick a name they like. If you do that, I suggest you try it out like you would a baby name, make sure the initials don't spell something weird (my cousins are "wac" and I went to school with a guy who had "pmp") and try writing out all forms of the name, and say it out loud to see how it sounds together, and make sure you like the nicknames, because people will shorten your name without your permission LOL. Some guys ask to be called a masculine, or androgenous form of their girl name, and they find it easier for people to remember it and accept it, for example, Sam, Alex, Nickie, TJ etc. That route was not for me. While the male version of my birth name is actually quite attractive and unique, it reminds me too much of the female name I hate, so I opted to go with the name my parents would have chosen for me. Getting people to use the new name will be a little hard if they are used to calling you something else. I was fourtunate to just having started beauty school when I requested they call me my male name. So when my name was called and I was asked to introduce myself, I said "Hey, "I'm evil birth name", but I go by "new sexy male name" because I don't like girly things" This actually got a laugh, and people just used the male name I told them to use. My family was harder, I was embarressed to ask them, and they had a hard time remembering, but now they are doing better. Try not to be too frusturated if it takes them a while. If you're in school, try telling your friends to call you your new name, once they start using it, then everyone else will pick up on it. Again though, people will assume you are a lesbian, since butch girls often hate girly things, and go by andro or male names, and people assume butch girls or people they believe to be butch girls (and not transmen) are lesbians. I find this particulary anoying because I like girls and guys, and I'm with a girl presently, so people just assume I'm a lesbian, and then my male appearence "makes sense to them" But whatever.
For your hair, I highly, suggest a male haircut. Even cisguys who get shaggy emo hair get mistaken for girls. I had shaggy emo hair, but I wasn't passing, in fact, every time I wore my basball cap I passed, and every time I didn't, I wouldn't. It made me depressed, so I got a male haircut, I'm totally happy with my hair now, I get freaked out when I'm too feminine, and presenting as too female.
I wouldn't worry about freaking people out. So far, people have only freaked out on me when I told them I was transsexual. They are fine with me "being a butch girl" Sometimes it's odd for me though, as I present as male at my school, and people call me my male name, yet they drop "she's" "hers" and "girl" referign to me, it's bazare, like it suddenly reminds me they don't see me as male. I've even almost accidentlayy walked into the mens room a couple times while I was fazed out LOL since I just do not see myself as a girl. Hope I helped. | Am I gay ,bisexual or just not getting my way ? Very confused.? As I was growing up my male peers would always call me a ****** or gay. I never knew why to me , I'd never acted gay or Feminine . And as long as I can remember I have always been attracted to the opposite sex ,girls. I just never had good luck with them. and because of this my parents have been questioning my sexual preference ever since I was in the second grade. I believe they were doing this because my cousins and my brother always had girlfriends .I never did . I always tried to get one but girls simply weren't interested in me . I always became depressed and humiliated when guys were talking about there girlfriends . But then in my freshman year of high school some girls start showing interest in me .And then that's when I first starting dating and what not. but after a terrible break up one of my ex's said she always thought I was secretly homosexual . (But why would go out with a guy you had suspicions about?) even one of my friends seriously thought I was bisexual.anyways after a series of failed teen relationships my "game" was no good and I became depressed. But now that im in my sophomore year I have had a several people asking me was I gay. I felt highly offended for some reason even though I thought I wasn't gay. But for a short period of time I start to picture myself with other man to see how would I like it. I COULDN'T imagine myself having sex,holding hands ,kissing, spooning or having a intimate relationship with another boy. But there were some male celebrities that I thought were rather "cute" or handsome guys like Reggie Bush ,Justin Chatwin, Trey Songz,Rain the main character in Ninja Assassin and Brad Pitt. But I couldn't see myself aroused or attracted to these guys in these scenarios I tried to create in my head . also when Im watching porn watching a woman masturbate doesn't arouses me. But I like it when a dude with a huge penis is having sex with a busty female. Don't find gay porn arousing at all. I would just think certain guys were cute but my thoughts would never go beyond that. I also was approached by this gay guy and I knew he was trying to "to get up on" or "spit his game" as you guys may say but for some reason I kept talking to him even though I wasn't attracted to him or any guys in general. I felt I was bored and I needed someone to talk because I was lonely. but there his convo was interesting and entertaining in fact it more interesting than any conversation I ever had with any girl. Most conversation I've with girls end up very awkward and I feel there is no chemistry between us . I also feel really nervous around girls and I tend to get a ***** with the slightest physical contact I make with girls. Like holding hands ,spooning and hugging. I simply can't control my hormones around girls. So what do you think? Do you think I'm gay ,bi,straight ?Bi-curious ? Or simply confused. Can anyone give me any helpful advice and what would you do in this situation? | | I think you are confused. If you do not feel either physically or emotionally attracted to guys, then you are not bi, and certainly you are not gay. I think you are just a bit confused because everyone you approach seems to think you are gay. Do not pay attention to those comments, those are mostly the people who like to judge others at first sight. Feel comfortable with yourself and don't worry, you will find a good person as you get older. |
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